That One Time I Was Afraid To Admit I Could Be Wrong

Author: Jessica Dahl
June 20, 2019
I am a firm believer in when you’re going through a struggle it’s important to share with close friends and people you trust around you but I also believe there are things that don’t need to be shared publicly as you are IN IT.  I do think you can share hard times in the moment of course, and at the same time respect yourself or others enough to work through the process first. On social media today it is the “thing” to say….”Here I am being vulnerable”, or sharing all the gunk you are dealing with in the moment without having worked through any of it which tends to leave others in their bad day because it’s confirming that since someone else is going through it you can too.  It gets us in our justification stage for an easier pitty party to come up. Again, this is in NO WAY to say, do not share your struggles, yes..be real, but also know that what you put out to the world is going to affect someone. There is a lot of negativity going on in the world already and we don’t really need more of it. So work through your stuff and then share the process of how you’re working through it or after you’ve overcome it.

I recently had a for sure ridiculously hard moment for me where I felt paralyzed in my tracks.  You see, I lived in California years ago and when I left I didn’t feel like my season was over. After what felt like 5 different lives, last year I felt that prompting come back. The gentle whispers in my heart kept speaking to me to move back.  I tried to ignore it because I set in my mind I wouln’t move back and I was happy in Seattle. As I visited about 7 times last year for various things the feelings kept getting stronger and stronger. Last June I felt like I was going to move but I also knew my season in Seattle wasn’t done yet either.  I kept getting the words “finish strong”. I didn’t know the timing, I didn’t know how it was going to work but I knew eventually i’d end up back there. I let it go and put it in the hands of God without forcing anything to happen. I did tell some friends and put it out there that I would move back and praying about when that could be. So I did my part in taking action on this prompting.

While I was in SE Asia a few months ago I told a friend about it and even mentioned that I felt for some reason that I was going to be moving in June. Not even 10 minutes later I got a text from a good friend and she asked if I wanted to sublet her place while her and her husband were gone starting June!  WHAT?!?! My mouth dropped as I showed my friend the message and we were like whoa...God’s definitely leading this thing.

Fast forward...I was finding someone to take over the lease in my room in Seattle. Basically everything that seemed to be working out fell apart.  This kept happening over and over again. It was weird. Everything was set up: my brother was driving down with me with a flight back, my place in LA was ready, I was packing up all my stuff….but there was one thing and it was causing me so much stress, anxiety and tension.  One day as I was trying to work, I was debilitated. I couldn’t think straight because my mind was flooding with fear and doubt. I was afraid that maybe I was going to have to admit I was wrong and that I would have to stay back.  I was irritated and frustrated. Finally I felt like I needed to get still with Jesus. I sat on a couch for 2 hours sharing my frustrations and then questioning if I was supposed to go or not.  Maybe it was a sign telling me to stay. Of course I am stubborn so I didn’t want that to happen but then I let go and asked God about it. In that moment I got a response that was like a friend laughing at me and saying, “Hey girl..you’re going to be fine, I’ve got this under control. Remember those times you freaked out and it worked out anyway? Yea...that’s whats going on..do you trust me?”  In that moment as irritated as I was, I knew things were going to be just fine. My heart was at peace, my mind was clear and I was sure of it even if I didn’t understand or see it yet. Even in discouragement there was a peace that I was on the right track. So I kept doing my part and God kept showing up. Up until I was driving down to Cali there were still some little complications but still in the end it all worked out.  As we entered the city I felt a crazy sense of joy, ease and lightness. It was a weird knowing that I am exactly where I am supposed to be.

So remember, what you are going through..listen to the resistance and ask, “what am I supposed to know about what is going on, and what am I supposed to do?” You will get answers because you have the answers within you. You just have to be still enough to listen.

Moral of the story..go through the tough times because we ALL have them.  Share with those close to you for encouragement, wisdom and support. Then work through it and if you want to share publicly..go ahead.. Then it will encourage many.


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