MY HEART STRINGS

Author: Jessica
September 12, 2018
Sometimes I feel like it’s a blessing and a curse to be a visionary.  There is so much that rushes through my mind of what could be and what should be and I can’t help but feel overwhelmed by it all.  There is a shift that happens in our hearts and minds when we have an experience that changes everything for us. I think because I have felt, heard and seen some of the biggest needs in the world I can’t help but shake all the thoughts of wanting to make a big difference.

My heartstrings wants to dive in deep to accomplish IT ALL and I have the hardest time being patient and still, my mind tends to race a lot.  I think there is a reason I became a yoga instructor..it’s forced me to go deep into these places of stillness where usually is the hardest for me.  As I was reading a book called Visioneering, by Andy Stanley, I was feeling a bit of a rush through my body as it said “visions don’t become reality until someone is willing to jump.”  It doesn’t make me nervous because I am afraid of jumping since I believe that is probably my biggest strength (and biggest weakness sometimes), but it makes me feel a bit scared because I feel like I am going to have to take some big jumps/risks in this next season that are completely new once again….This has happened MANY times in my life. Has this happened to you? I have to remind myself to take a breath and remember it always works out.

Coming from a person who has always been SO driven and determined, I have this freedom all of a sudden that I have no idea what my life is going to look like in the next season.  For me this is pretty hard because sometimes my pride takes over and it takes a lot more courage for me to say “I don’t know how it’s going to happen.” It’s all because God’s made it firm in my heart and reminds me constantly that He has bigger visions for me and far more than I could ever dream of…even though I have some pretty big dreams, wow!

I was chatting with a woman the other day I had just met and she shared with me about flying to the states from Bulgaria and how she paid extra to sit by the window to see the beautiful view she had imagined.  All of a sudden turbulence happened and there were clouds to where all she could see was fog. Then she reminded herself, well at least the pilot knows where we are going. Talking about me, she said, “I feel like this is how you see life.”  You see a vision and direction in life then all of a sudden a little turbulence happens and fog arises yet you are at peace because you know you are going to get there. I laughed because that’s exactly right!

Since I was young I had big dreams for my life and so far I have followed and lived out these dreams, while still following.  I really believe it’s all about trusting the process. Does it ever look the way I planned it? RARELY. And maybe it will continue that way, yet I absolutely believe that as we trust the process and see the beauty in each twist, turn, challenge..it’s an opportunity to grow and it prepares us for what is to come.

Hopefully this doesn’t discourage you from dreams or plans you’ve had for your life.  I hope it actually encourages you that when you get a turn in the unknown direction that you will remember you’re doing great, it’s only temporary, and there is great beauty right around the corner!  It’s actually a really exciting place to be in!
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